Seduction Techniques

In social science, seduction is the process of deliberately enticing a person to engage in sexual behaviour. The word seduction stems from Latin and means literally "to lead astray". As a result, the term may have a positive or negative connotation.  Famous seductresses from history or legend include Cleopatra and Mae West

Seducing a man doesn't necessarily mean stealing him from someone else, or convincing him to do something he shouldn't be doing. It can simply mean sealing a guy's desire for you, and can be a good way to keep a man.


Be yourself.
Men are thought to instinctively crave variety. By developing a strong sense of self, with your own distinct personality and flair, you're appealing to his desire for variety because you're so different.

Work your eye contact
Now you don’t want him to think you’re attracted to him, so don’t overdo the little staring game. Look, but always look away just as he looks at you. By doing that, he’ll never be sure if you’re even staring at him. And yet, he’d start to get more and more curious about you.


Put Him Under A Spell With Your Smell. 
Pick a sensual perfume that will arouse his senses. If you can, ask suggestions from a male friend, as he knows what type of smell will attract someone like him. You may also want to try herbal aphrodisiacs like jasmine, rose and ylang ylang.

Smile for him
Men are automatically drawn towards women who seem happier and more fun to be with. A smiling, flirty woman is far more approachable than a surly, saggy woman. When you’re having a conversation with him, smile often. It’ll make you seem good natured and happy, which will draw him to you. But don’t overdo the smiling by making it obvious that you’ve got a thing for him. You’re trying to seduce him, not let him know you like him!


Play Hard to Get. 
Make him feel like you really want him, but are "holding back" for one reason or another. Some guys don't like playing games so if you play hard to get a little too well it may work against you.

Keep in mind that appearance is an almost negligible aspect of seduction. Many of history's seductresses were beautiful, but many men have strayed from their relationships to be with a woman who isn't considered by most to be as attractive as their partner.

Sometimes, no matter what you do, the guy just won't like you. If he is too attached to his girlfriend / blind and can't see how great you are, move on. There are so many other people out there that will want you.

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Why Women Fall in Love with Older Men

If you are a man and you’re over 35 years old, if you are attracted by younger women but you are afraid of being rejected or not to be taken seriously, you will find out the real thing about this issue in this article.

Let’s state an irrefutable fact: most women over 25 and single are already disappointed by men of their age.


And their big problem is to find a mature man that can satisfy their needs.

Here is another fact: in most cases men reach their maturity level after the age of 30.

These women believe that older men won’t break their hearts the way younger men have done; they believe that an older man will have the commitment and the willingness required for a long term relationship.

Age indicates maturity, and decision making ability.

Many people believe couples with the same age don't respect each other.

Younger women, on the other hand, enjoy having someone take care of them and are attracted to an older person's accomplishments, economic stability and EMOTIONAL MATURITY.

Make sure you share similar life views and goals, despite your age difference.

Do you both appreciate each other's friends? Do you share the same principles when it comes to family?

So, an age difference of 7 - 15 years can lead to a really great relationship if both partners are willing to. That’s because we don't choose who we fall in love with, it simply happens

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Get Your Boyfriend to Propose to You!

Have you been with your boyfriend for some time already but he did not propose yet? Did you try "everything" but still have no results or even hints that he might ask for your hand? No worries, there's a way to get your boyfriend to finally propose. Here are a few simple steps.


First, you have to understand your boyfriend better. Is he in the market at all? Is he afraid of commitment, having children or just not that into you to want to marry you? There can be many reasons stopping a guy from proposing. It can be a financial reason (he has no money for a wedding/children etc.) or he's afraid of how married life might end up like.

Your job is to make sure he doesn't feel like he'll be in a "cage" once you get married and that he'll keep on getting the best possible sex even years after you get married. The path to getting a guy to propose is a step by step path. Before you expect anything - you have to live together for some time so that you'll see how married life could potentially look like.

Next - I'll tell you ladies the cold hard truth: Amazing sex can get most guys on their knees saying "Would you marry me?" If you can give him the best sex of his life, and truly appreciate every inch of his body, appreciate him as a man, for his efforts, and if you truly want him to succeed, he'll consider you a kind of woman he wants to keep forever.

Basically, if you can continually give him the best sex of his life, he'll be much easier to get to propose than he would normally be. After great sex - all your potential other "faults" he doesn't like about you he'll forget about or ignore, since he feels like he's in Heaven whenever you have sex (and that should be often!, without him ever having to ask for it).

The core of a good relationship and marriage is great sex, so, before you get married and get him to propose your first goal should be great sex, since after that everything else is a routine. Whatever you want from him after that will be a lot easier. Men are simple, so don't complicate it. Sure, some are harder to conquer, especially if they have a big choice of women other than you that could please them better. Looks and sex are not everything, but they are a baseline, no matter how shallow this may sound - it's the truth.


So how do you give him that amazing sex? Simply - do what most other women don't do. If other women never swallowed when giving him oral, you should. If other women he's been with didn't do anal sex, you should. He should get the best pleasure in bed with you and no other women. Make him feel like a King whenever he comes home and he'll love you for that and feel like you really appreciate him and that you would make a great wife, especially if he knows that all this great sex will not stop once you finally get married. Since that's what many men out there are afraid of and what they hear from their married guy friends.

Tell him you love him and that you'd like to be with him forever, that you love pleasing him and that it makes you happy and that you want to keep on doing that forever as well, since it turns you more than anything to keep him happy and satisfied. This all may sound crazy, but it's reality and a base that you need to build so that it will be much easier to get him to propose. If you can get this right, every other part of the process will be far simpler.

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4 Signs - Guy Is In To You

How to know if a guy is in to you can be quite confusing and tricky. Sometimes we meet a guy that wants to be friends but his actions show more than friendship. There are signs to tell if a guy likes you, but you can misunderstand the signs if you don't know what to look for.

When a guy likes a girl, he shows a good impression, but you still don't know if he really likes you. He puts up his guard without realizing it and it's up to you to tear it down one piece at a time. His true self will send out signals supporting his real feelings. Before you pursue the relationship, look for the 4 signs to know for sure if he is in to you.

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1-The eyes tell the truth - His eyes light up when he is with you, just like a small child given a candy bar. It shows he loves you. He is happy and excited when he's around you. It's amazing how the eyes can speak the truth. You can tell a lot about a guy just by watching his eyes.

2-Love signals- He wants to be with you all the time regardless of what's going on in his life. You're his center of attention. He smiles a lot and is extremely happy. He starts getting involved in your hobbies and activities, so you will think he has a lot in common with you. He calls quite often as he loves hearing your voice.

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He now has the courage to ask you to spend the week-ends with him. With the hectic schedule of everyday lives, this is his way of spending all his time with you. He absolutely can't stand to be without you.

He puts you first and is concerned about your health. He will ask if you've had lunch, do you need to go to the doctor and more tell-tale signs. He wants to make sure you're taking care of yourself by asking all these things. It's a good indication that he is love sick over you.

3-Touch of feelings- He notices things you're wearing such as earrings, and he uses the excuse that he really likes them and touches you around your ear. He will want to touch your face and admire how nice your hair looks by running his fingers through it. He wants to touch you at every opportunity and give you more hugs and kisses.

4-More gifts and the small things- He's buying you more gifts and sending you flowers. It shows he's thinking of you all the time even while he's out shopping. When you're out with him with a group of people, he pays special attention to you and is proud to show you off.

These 4 signs are a sure way to know if a guy is in to you. It's definitely possible that he's in love with you. Even if he just shows one of these signs, chances are, he has romantic feelings for you. Once you know if a guy really likes you, it's time to move on with the relationship.

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How to Attract LOVE

To attract another person why not use that which is most attractive about you? Perhaps you do not really know what that is.Perhaps you have been mistaken all this time.

The most attractive thing about you is your capacity to love.


A part of you may reject this. A part of you maybe even hates these words.

Yet, all around you there are people yearning for love. It is what most people want the most. Why not improve your ability to create good relationships by improving your ability to feel and express what most people want?

People want to see that you can love them as the imperfect creatures that they are. How will they do that? By seeing how you love your own imperfections.

We treat those who get close to us the same way that we treat ourselves. People instinctively know this. We know how the other person will treat us by seeing how kind, or otherwise, they are to themselves. We are either attracted or repelled depending on whether this matches with how well we treat ourselves.

We attract people who have the same capacity to love which we have.

Are you a harsh judge of yourself? Do you even pride yourself in this? Then that is your greatest imperfection for it is your greatest barrier to love.

How to love other people despite their imperfections? The answer is simple. Start learning to love your own imperfections. Learn to love the needy parts, the greedy parts, the negative parts. Take those parts of you in hand with firmness, yet with kindness. Of course, you can be smart about it too and use whatever helps you on your way.



You know that Big Bad Secret you keep? The one you don't want anyone to find out about? The one that you believe is unique to you? Everyone has that! (Well, maybe not everyone but lots of people for sure). Don't be so arrogant as to assume you are worse than everyone else.

Courage is a quality of the heart. For it takes courage to face the best and the worst within ourselves, within our relationships and within our lives. Without courage there can be no love for there is always a risk, or at least the illusion of a risk, in stepping deeper into love.

What is more attractive than love? Absolutely nothing. Stay true to your capacity to love and you stay true to the best in yourself and the best in the world. Do you want less than this?

You will also then stand the best possible chance of bringing that hunk/babe you so dearly want into your life. You will also be in the best position to make the most of it when you do.

How to attract love? Not by making that your goal. Make becoming more loving your goal. By becoming more loving more love will be coming to you.

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Did You Know The Health Benefits of Making Love?

1. Making Love Relieves Stress
A big health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction, according to researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal Biological Psychology. They studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. Then the researchers subjected them to stressful situations such as speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic and noted their blood pressure response to stress.

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Those who had intercourse had better responses to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained.

Another study published in the same journal found that frequent intercourse was associated with lower diastolic blood pressure in cohabiting participants. Yet other research found a link between partner hugs and lower blood pressure in women.

2. Making Love Boosts Immunity
Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections. Scientists at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., took samples of saliva, which contain IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had.

Those in the "frequent" group -- once or twice a week -- had higher levels of IgA than those in the other three groups -- who reported being abstinent, having sex less than once a week, or having it very often, three or more times weekly.

3. Making Love Burns Calories
Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions.

"Sex is a great mode of exercise," says Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists. It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well, she says.

4.  Making Love  Improves Heart Health
While some older folks may worry that the efforts expended during sex could cause a stroke, that's not so, according to researchers from England. In a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, scientists found frequency of sex was not associated with stroke in the 914 men they followed for 20 years.

And the heart health benefits of sex don't end there. The researchers also found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.

5.  Making Love Boosts Self-Esteem
Boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex, collected by University of Texas researchers and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.

That finding makes sense to Gina Ogden, PhD, a sex therapist and marriage and family therapist in Cambridge, Mass., although she finds that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to feel even better. "One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves," she tells WebMD. "Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it."

6.  Making Love Improves Intimacy
Having sex and orgasms increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, which helps us bond and build trust. Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina evaluated 59 premenopausal women before and after warm contact with their husbands and partners ending with hugs. They found that the more contact, the higher the oxytocin levels.

"Oxytocin allows us to feel the urge to nurture and to bond," Britton says.

Higher oxytocin has also been linked with a feeling of generosity. So if you're feeling suddenly more generous toward your partner than usual, credit the love hormone.


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7.  Making Love Reduces Pain
As the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase, and pain declines. So if your headache, arthritis pain, or PMS symptoms seem to improve after sex, you can thank those higher oxytocin levels.

In a study published in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, 48 volunteers who inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked lowered their pain threshold by more than half.

8.  Making Love Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life, Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International. When they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without, they found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s.

But they found men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third.

Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly.

9.  Making Love Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles
For women, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels during sex offers a couple of benefits. You will enjoy more pleasure, and you'll also strengthen the area and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life.

To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor, as if you're trying to stop the flow of urine. Count to three, then release.

10.  Making Love  Helps You Sleep Better
The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research.

And getting enough sleep has been linked with a host of other good things, such as maintaining a healthy weight and blood pressure. Something to think about, especially if you've been wondering why your guy can be active one minute and snoring the next.

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You Think You Know Your Man?

It is a common joke or a pun in the dating world that men are straight forward and it is the woman who is complex and it is the woman whose heart is difficult to read and comprehend. Most women feel that men are like open books and they know their man very well?

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Are you one of those women? Do you know what your man feels and thinks when he says certain things? Find out:

• Most women think that men are really not interested in talking about anything other than food and sports! Well, the truth is men also look forward to a great conversation (other tan food and sports also!) but it becomes difficult for them to start a conversation with a woman. So ladies, if you like a man, go for the conversation!

• Women instantly think that is a guy splurges on her or generally spends a lot of cash when she is around, the guy must be loaded with a lot of money. Well, chances are - that is not the case. Most men feel they have to spend on a woman's behalf and probably spend more if he has to impress her. It is just there in their genes!

• Most women think that men are attracted to younger girls. Well, that is a fact but for the right reasons. It has nothing to do with beauty but everything to do with youthfulness, sprit and the joy that younger girls exuberate

• Women have a tendency to be an open book when it comes to their dating history. Well, men do not want to know the exact details. The male ego wants them to think that they are the first and the best!

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• Every girl thinks she can change a man! Well, truth is no one can change anyone unless he himself wants to change

Every coin has two sides and thus every rule has its own exceptions. But these are the general conceptions and misconceptions that men and women have!

Well, but there are a lot of us who are still trying to find the Mr. or Ms. Right! How about trying an option of online dating - it has one of the largest resource

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5 Things That Drive Men Away

The number of men who desire to have a relationship is large, but this desire might fade if you do things put up red flags in their mind. In order for you not to find yourself in this situation, you need to know how to get a boyfriend and keep him. Women who want a steady relationship should be strategic in maintaining a relationship with their man and should understand what drives men away.


Here are the top 5 characteristics that drive men away.

1. You need him too much
Women end up by themselves when they can't just leave a guy alone. For instance, you just met him a week ago and now you can't just stop texting him and planning weekends with him. Acting like a needy girlfriend will drive men away. How to get a boyfriend? Give them space and allow them to move in their own pace, after all, the planning and efforts at the start should come from him.

2. You're playing too hard to get
It's one thing to not return a phone call right away. Or turn down a date every now and then. But if you're really interested in the guy then you should be saying yes more then no. Play too hard to get and he will drop you and move on. You do want to spend time with him right? So do it.

3. You're self-centered.
Talking about yourself is a good way to let the opposite sex know more about you. Talking all the time about your previous boyfriend and/or all your problems is another thing. If you don't show interest in him, he will feel you aren't really interested in him and he may start looking for someone else. So another solution on how to get a boyfriend is to be curious about him. After all, you are entering a two-way relationship. Listen to him. Ask questions. Get to know him.


4. Early talk about marriage
If you start talking about marriage early on in the relationship that is a red flag for men. They don't want to get snared by a woman who is just looking for a wedding ring. They want to know you love them and that's why you would want to marry them. So even if that's your number one goal of the year, do not bring up marriage with him. And really, do you even know you'd want to be with this man forever at this early stage of the game?

5. Acting like a parent
Start bossing your man around like he's your child and he will head for the hills. Do not start acting like his mother. I see so many women bossing men around. Telling them what they can order off the menu in the restaurant, etc. Really, I have seen that. Do not act like a parent to another adult human being. Especially the man you have set your eyes on as long term boyfriend material.

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The art of saying "I Love You" through your body

Intimacy is defined as a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving relationship with another person. Another definition of this word is sexual intercourse. The first definition indicates that the persons are familiar with each other and the second definition reveals that the persons are ready for the physical contact. Love is a sweet feeling but lovemaking is an art. In reality lovemaking is the art of saying "I Love You" through your body. You make your partner experience the ultimate pleasure called sex. Or you do sex to please your partner. Sex is a feeling that you pass on to your partner.

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In the moments of intimacy, men forget to take advantage of women's desires. For example take foreplay. Women love foreplay because it fuels their desire to have sex but men are always in hurry as they consider lovemaking a game. Sex is a game but it starts with mind. You have to refresh your partner and prepare him for the great game. Foreplay is the start of sex and orgasm is the conclusion of sex. It's the foreplay that provides longevity and quality to a sexual act.

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Women are slow chargers and they take time in preparing their body and mind for lovemaking. On the other hand, men come to bed when they are already charged and they require no preparation for lovemaking. A majority of husbands complain that their wives have lost interest in lovemaking but little do they know that the stress and tension of today's fast lifestyle has suppressed their desire for sex.

If you think that you can satisfy sexual desire of any men then you are either day dreaming or boasting. First you should understand the true meaning of intimacy and then find what your partner really wants. If he wants to talk to you then you should have a friendly chatting. If he wants to tell something to you then you should listen to him. You will be amazed to know that talking and just lying together is also a part of lovemaking.

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Secrets to Improve Your Intimacy

Intimacy can't be explained in a way that two people come close to each other to share their physical and emotional pleasures as well. For those for whom the meaning of intimacy is not clear in actual terms is very difficult to improve their relationship.
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Truly, intimacy is not just physical. If it were, what then happens when the excitement and pleasure wear thin? What if you come to a realization that you are not satisfied anymore with the sex you are taking? What if you wake up and find that intimacy is not really there? Think about those old couples who have been together for more than fifty years. These couples have surmounted all sorts of obstacles. What is the key factor keeps them going? What is the primary secret of their commitment? Personally speaking, the simple answer is the fact that they are sharing their lives with each other in a perfect manner.

And, of course, improving intimacy must first start by taking a good way to communicate. The success of a relationship can be attributed to how well each person converses with his/her spouse. I would say that honesty is vital, yet you should be careful with the words you are using. Generally, females are more vocal with their problems, so males should listen first before giving rebuttals or criticisms. Men, on the contrary, tend to be quiet while thinking about what to say. Good thing is that women need to wait for him to speak, or he will lose his train of thought, and not be able to express himself at all. Especially if they are not feeling well, instead of instantly talking about their difficulties, men retreat first inside their "emotional caves," so women should not force men to open up if they are not yet ready. Once the way that they communicate is settled, each one will learn that being honest and comfortable with one another is not really daunting.
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Second major problem that inhibits a couple's intimacy is fighting. Of course, it is perfectly normal to exchange their verbal jabs, yet some fights are avoidable. Be sure you never play the blame game. If you are feeling that something is wrong then it is best to breathe first and analyze the situation. Pointing fingers at your partner guarantees a fight. If you really want to correct your partner's mistake then try to deliver each statement positively by pairing it with one of his/her good qualities.

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Tips on How to Satisfy Him in Bed

Ladies, if you are serious about satisfying him better than ever before - listen up. Men aren't as complicated as they may seem at first. If you want to conquer him and make him go insane over you, you have to give him the best sex humanly possible. You have to give him more pleasure in bed than he got from all the other women he's been with before you. The thing is that you don't have to be the best in the World, you just have to better than other women he comes across with. And that's not that hard, considering that the average woman is clueless when it comes to satisfying a guy completely.

If you to hear fairy tales, you are free to leave, if you want results, read on.



1. Start talking naughty. The right words can be like magic. If you know what to say, when to say it and most importantly How to say it, your man will explode from pleasure instantly. Learn what makes him go nuts and tell the right things at the right moments. Nothing is more boring that a woman that makes no sound in bed and when we have to wonder whether she's dead or not. Be active in bed, flexible, let him move you around. Also - if you say the Wrong things and are afraid you might sound stupid, you probably will end up sounding stupid. Be confident. If you believe in what you say, anything you say will sound good. That's why it's more important how you say it than what you say exactly. Be his personal Porn Star and he'll love you for it.

2. Show total devotion by being more submissive. It is natural that men want to dominate in bed, so let him do it. Most men feel more manly if they can take control and have sex with you all around the house, take control over you and dominate you. Let him do this, be his "slave" and submit to him sexually, let him do ( and enjoy it ) anything he wants to do with you in bed. Be flexible and open about new things. Be open for learning new things and experimenting, but don't force things, make things fun instead of forced.


3. Learn how to give proper blow jobs. Really, this is an almost mandatory skill that you have to master. If he ever got better oral from a woman before you, he'll expect at least the same quality for you. Men rarely go backwards sexually and if he got amazing oral before, he'll wish to continue getting it from you as well. Learn the art of oral sex and you'll immediately be among the top 10% of women that know how to satisfy a man completely. A woman that's great in bed but has no idea how to give proper oral is just considered as incomplete. It's worth learning it.

4. Surprise him when he least expects it. There's nothing worse than monotony in bed. That's why you should have sex Outside of the bedroom, as often as possible. Make it memorable. Give him head in the car. Wake him up with a blow job. Have sex in a public toilet, or in his office. When he comes home, "attack" him the moment he comes in the house. Kill the routine. There's nothing nicer than being wanted. Be sexy for him and initiate things. You should never be asked to go down on him, instead do it yourself and do it for your own pleasure, not his.


5. Work out regularly. Yes, you should take care of your looks as much as possible. Work out regularly, smell good and be as tight as possible. If you are light and easy for him to carry around in bed your sex life will be much more satisfying. This is the cold hard truth. And don't do this because of him, do it because of yourself. You'll feel a lot sexier in your own body and you'll be more self confident. If you feel sexier in your body you'll attract him 10 times more sexually. Be fit, eat good food and take care of yourself. Silky, soft skin and a tight body, where you smell amazing will make every guy go mental just when he looks at you. Make this a lifestyle decision (staying fit) and do it together with him. You'll see how this can transform your sex life completely and you'll please him much more like this.

6. Role play. Role playing can be great and it will make your sex life a lot more fun. You should role play all the time, but do it sometimes to spice things up. Role playing is great as it gives you freedom to experiment and be somebody else, discover each others fantasies and fulfill them at least in an imaginary way. It's better if he does it with you, than with somebody else.

The good thing is that you already have the right mindset for being a "perfect girlfriend" (or wife) and that's your willingness to satisfy him. That's a great quality and it will get you far, as everything you give, comes back, eventually. So give, give and give some more and you'll see your relationship transform (and your sex life. Start applying some of these essential tips and you'll go far. Most importantly: Have fun!

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10 Making Love Myths

Problems with sex arise out of a combination of factors: for example lack of confidence, communication difficulties, inexperience and lack of skill, unrealistic expectations, refusal to take responsibility for our own sexual pleasure
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What many people are not aware of is that there are a vast amount of beliefs and opinions about sex that we all have and take with us into every sexual encounter.

1. FANTASY IS A BARRIER TO INTIMACY

Many people prevent themselves from having the best sexual experiences that they could have because they believe that fantasy should be restricted to masturbation and should not be an aspect of partner sex. Fantasy is all about learning what turns you on and exploring your potential to express your sexuality. It is not unusual for women to have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner because of insufficient mental arousal. She probably knows how to orgasm through masturbation but feels too guilty to enter the realm of fantasy when with her partner. The ability to be intimate is enhanced by self-knowledge and confidence and the uninhibited expression and communication of fantasy can bring people closer together.

2. PENETRATION IS THE GOAL OF SEX

Concentrating on the destination rather than the journey is responsible for the burden placed upon men to 'perform' on demand but is only a part of a vastly wider area of sexual possibilities. Penetration is often made the center of sex, yet oral and manual sexual activity is likely to be at least as - and frequently more - satisfying for a woman. When penetration is seen as the 'goal' of sex, then foreplay becomes something that leads to proper sex, rather than being a pleasure in and of itself. When sex is reduced to being a rush towards the man's ejaculation through penetration, then it is no wonder that so many people find sex to be disinteresting and boring. It is more that the definitions of sex in our culture are shallow and trivialize the majesty and mystery that sex can be.

3 MORE SEX MEANS BETTER SEX

Quality versus quantity of sex is likely to be different at varying times. It is unrealistic to expect that sex is always going to be mind-blowing and require a heavy investment of time and effort. Variety is the key. Getting stuck in a predictable routine that both partners play out means that sometimes both quantity and quality suffer.

Quality can suffer if you are too intent upon upping the quantity of your sexual experiences. Many people feel under pressure to have a lot of sex but this does not mean that they are going to be a better lover or have better sex. It merely means that they have more sex. Comparing yourself with your perceptions of other people's sex lives is always a destructive mode to get into. The only thing that needs matter to you is your own sexual happiness.

4 I AM JUST NOT A VERY SEXUAL PERSON

Loss of sexual desire is a common concern for many people and it is an issue that has no single cause. When you have persistent thoughts about feeling unworthy, unloved, unwanted and of not deserving of great sex, not attractive enough, you may manage to convince yourself that you just are not very sexual. Everybody has sexual energy and the capacity to express and enjoy a fulfilling sex life. What can happen is that your negative thoughts about yourself mean that you lose touch with the sexual part of yourself and start to feel disconnected from your sexuality.

5 BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE HAVE BETTER SEX.

Sex begins in the brain and sexual attraction and energy feed off of factors other than physical appearance. When you make love, you are so much more than your body. This belief feeds off the comparisons you make between yourself and other people. Beautiful people do not have more successful relationships, nor do they have better sex. Sexual fulfillment is about self-acceptance. The way you feel about your body is apparent to other people and can make sex a joy or a disaster.

Your body image and the things you tell yourself about your sexual desirability are important factors that influence your sexual happiness.

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6 THE CHILDREN MUST COME FIRST.

Many couples experience a decrease in their sexual satisfaction after they have had children. Believing that the child's needs should always come first can mean that a total lack of privacy, time, energy and commitment makes sex a distant memory. Having children is a stressful time for every couple and the relationship dynamic will change. Balancing affection and attention between your children and your partner is a challenge that needs to be met head on.

It is important to set boundaries with your young children so that they know and accept that their parents expect privacy sometimes and are not always prepared to rush to fulfill their child's needs on demand.

7. SEX IS NO LAUGHING MATTER

Playing, being silly and laughing are all great ways to deepen intimacy and enhance sexual pleasure. Some people believe that sex must be, can only be, 'romantic' and so attach a great deal of earnestness to the experience. It is possible to learn the benefits of lightening up. When sex cannot incorporate elements of play, it is often an indication of an impoverished emotional connection. Usually, it is not difficult to bring the fun back into sex, even if it feels a little forced at first.

Keep in mind that sex is about whatever works for you and keeping play and foolishness a part of sex can help to prevent sex becoming a stale and predictable.

8. SEX MUST BE A GENEROUS ACT; I WANT TO SATISFY HIS/HER SEXUAL NEEDS

Great sex is both generous and selfish. Most people do get turned on by their partner's arousal and this is fantastic but if you put all your energy into finding out what she/he wants, what about you? Who is giving you what you need? Being prepared to get your own needs met is an indication that you are willing to take care of yourself, rather than relying upon other people to meet your unmet and perhaps unvoiced desires.

Sexual communication is all about clarity, saying what you think and feel. If you find yourself having sex because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings, think about what you are doing. Honour yourself and what you want and share any feelings of ambivalence.

9. PREMATURE EJACULATION IS A SIGN OF A POOR LOVER.

Being unable to control ejaculation is a worry for many men. Most practically, even if you have had an orgasm, don't leave your partner high and dry. Often feelings of shame, failure and anticipating your partner's disappointment mean that his orgasm means the end of sex. It comes back to widening your perception of what sex can be and not being enslaved to ideas about sexuality that are widely circulated in our culture.

In terms of his sexual pleasure, learning how to manage his anxiety about performance and being able to talk to a partner are the most effective ways of building sexual confidence. Some of the informal strategies that are popular in our culture do more harm than good. For example, trying to delay ejaculation by distracting yourself with non-sexual thoughts will do little to enhance your sexual pleasure.

10. AN ERECTION IS ONE AND THE SAME THING AS SEXUAL AROUSAL

This is a difficult idea for many people to get their heads around. Sexual arousal happens within a context that is emotional, physiological and visual. If you think about the nature of desire and attraction, recognize that it is not always a purely physical response; it involves idiosyncratic and sometimes unpredictable preferences. Sexual desire just does not exist without a sexual context. It is confirmed/reduced by the accompanying emotions and thoughts that you focus on at any time. Men have erections of varying hardness according to how they are thinking and feeling at the time. An erection does not necessarily mean that a man is fully, or even a little, aroused. He may become erect without feeling particularly sexy.

Recognize that the thoughts that you have affect the sex life that you create. Know that you can choose to change the way you think and learn self-acceptance, respect for your sexual self and experience ease, excitement and power in the ways you choose to express yourself sexually.

By Dr Tara Few, The UK Sex Coach, 2007

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5 Summer Sexy Massages

1. Back Stroke Bliss
Take off his shirt, squeeze sunscreen into your hands, and launch a heat wave.After coating his entire back in sunscreen, place your palms on either side of his lower spine, your fingers facing out, not up. Push your palms out to the sides, slowly working your way up his toward his shoulders without removing your hands from his body, then back down again.

2. Spine Tingler
Use your index finger to sensually trace Xs into three spots along his mid-back: right on his spine, just to the right of his backbone, and to the left.  His lower back contains a nexus of pleasure-receptive nerves that connect to his package.

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3. The Nipple Effect
Slowly and lightly graze your fingers in circles around the outer edges of his nipples. His headlights are huge erogenous zones, and they also get sunburned easily—so giving them some lotion love is a total win-win.

4. Neck Nirvana
Gently run your fingertips of both hands up his back, all the way to his neck. Cup your hand into a C and squeeze the back of his neck, so your fingertips touch under his ears. This is another nerve-packed region, and feeling your hands here will shoot currents of pleasure all over his body. The neck and ears are also prime skin cancer spots for guys, so SPFing here will repel harmful rays.

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5. The Indian Rub
Create a crazy-hot burning sensation on his chest by rubbing the palm of your right hand in anupward motion while pushing the palm of your left hand downward. The friction causes intense heat, and he'll feel warm pangs shoot through his body.

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How to Choose a Right MAN to Marry

When it comes on how to choose the right person to spend the rest of your life with, the only one who can be sure if you are choosing well is you. We all come with the idea of the right man and how we want our lives to be in the future, so here are some tips to ensure that you are following your dreams and that you are being honest with yourself by choosing him.

How to choose a right man to marry

1. Ask yourself: The first thing you should do when thinking about getting married is to ask yourself if the man you want to do it with is the kind of person you want in your future. Think about if he has the qualities you always dreamed in a man or if he has something you find wonderful and you think is hard to find. Think if you admire him and if you think he has something that you really value and want to treasure it for the rest of your life.

Think if you really see him in your future, and if you think that you can accomplish wonderful things together or not. Be honest with yourself and see if you really feel good about your relationship or if your are waiting for something else deep inside.

2. Don't think about as "choosing" the right man: Think about as letting someone in your life and what you want that person to be like. Because your life is just one, and you need to find someone to make it more beautiful and easy to deal with. Don't look just for the right man, look for a friend, a person that will always take your hand and be there.

3. Put yourself first: You have to think about your goals and what you want to do, and then ask yourself if he is going to support you and be a part of it. The man you marry should be the person that will always help you to grow and be a better person in all fields. Do the same for him. Ask yourself if you are willing to support him and help him grow, without trying to change him.

4. Family relationships: It is quite important that you both have a good relationship with each-others families. You must evaluate how his family treats you and how he treats your family, cause once you are married you are going to be just one family and you will have to interact with each-others family members all time. Get to know his family well. Try going to family reunions and talk to his parents, find out what they do and what they think about certain things you find important.



5. Get your parents to know him better: Invite him to your parents' home and have some dinner once in a while. Do stuff together to ensure they build a good relationship. Know him. One of the most important things you should do is to get to know him well. You can't think about getting married if you have only been dating for a couple of months. You have to know well your partner cause if you don't and you start living together you will have a lot of surprises and it might not be nice.


6. Don't decide to get marry without knowing each-other well: Do stuff together to ensure you are in the same page about important things. Communicate well. You have to start talking to him and expressing your feelings in order to have a good relationship based on communication. Ask him to tell you when he feels something is going wrong. And remember to do this always with respect.

7. Evaluate your relationship: Think about how you will get along together: Do you really love each-other? Do you have good times together? Remember this is another step for you and if you are not doing well now it might need something else. It is better to do this when you feel your relationship is going pretty well and you feel ready to compromise in such a serious level.

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Super Foods To Enhance Your Libido

Sexuality is the way to have some erotic pleasures and experiences generally with the opposite sex. But it can be seen in different sections of people where they enjoy the pleasure with the same sex or sometimes with both sexes.


This method of having some pleasure has some impacts on cultural, political, legal and philosophical aspects of life. Previously, it was a topic that people did not like to discuss in public. But it can be seen that these old thoughts are constantly changing with time. Thus teenagers and youngsters are now not shaky about discussing any matters regarding sex openly. It is also to be noted that discussing any topic regarding sex was strictly a hush-hush matter even a decade ago.

It can be seen that the modern people are now much aware of their sexuality. Therefore they are always willing to improve their sexual power. Basically, they always look for the opportunity to increase their sexual desire. To achieve success in that process, they can depend on some food items to boost their libido.

Here you can know about few of those super-foods that will definitely help you to enhance your sexual desire.

• Celery:This item is considered to be an excellent food to incline your sexual stimulation. This food item holds an odorless hormone that is released through male perspiration.

• Macau: It is believed that this improves sexual performance and can be effective in increasing sperm count. It also helps to fight against erective dysfunctions and impotency. It also makes you feel younger.

• Pumpkin Seeds:This food item contains zinc that is important for testosterone production for men and it helps to sustain sexuality in women. It has also the essential fatty acid omega 3, which play a key role in your sexual health.

• Bananas:It helps to boost the male libido largely due to the presence of the enzyme 'brome lain'. Bananas are also a good source of riboflavin and potassium, which increases the energy levels.

• Almonds:Almonds are good source of essential fatty acids which provide the basis for the healthy production of male hormones that are important in regulating sex-drive.

• Avocado: Avocado helps to increase both male and female libido with its very high levels of folic acid which assists in metabolizing proteins that provides you more energy.

• Asparagus:It acts as a libido booster which is said to be very high in vitamin E that has been long thought of as 'the sex vitamin'.

• Chilies:This item may heat up your sex life too. It also stimulates nerve endings and raises your heart rate.

• Basil: It increases the rate of circulation, helps to stimulate the sex drive and enhances fertility.

• Cardamom:Cardamom is very high in cineole that has an influence in increase of blood flow in certain important areas.

• Figs:These items are very high in amino acids that are useful in increasing you libido and boosting the sexual stamina.

• Garlic: Garlic can improve blood flow to the sexual organs.
In this way, you can improve your sexuality by taking these food items on a regular basis to increase your libido.

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Weight and Women's Love Life Behavior

The study is based on data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth that looked at sexual behavior of more than 7,000 women. Dr. Bliss Kaneshiro, an assistant professor at the School of Medicine at the University of Hawaii, was a student at Oregon Health & Science University at the time.

Oregon State University professor Marie Harvey helped Kaneshiro with her research because of Harvey's background and expertise in women's sexual and reproductive health issues.

Some studies have suggested that obese and overweight women have a higher risk of unintended pregnancy than do normal weight women, according to Kaneshiro. Although multiple factors, including contraceptive use and its efficacy, may increase the risk of unintended pregnancy among these women, sexual behavior and the frequency of intercourse could also be a factor.

Kaneshiro's objective was to study the impact of body mass index on sexual behavior. It is important to understand this relationship because preexisting physician biases can affect how heavy women are counseled about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases prevention. Kaneshiro studied the relationship between body mass index and sexual behavior, including sexual orientation, age at first intercourse, number of partners, and frequency of intercourse.

"Our analysis demonstrated that obese and overweight women do not differ significantly in some of the objective measures of sexual behavior compared to women of normal weight," said Kaneshiro. "This study indicates that all women deserve diligence in counseling on unintended pregnancy and STD prevention, regardless of body mass index."

The study seems to contradict widely held stereotypes that overweight and obese women are not as sexually active as other women. If anything, the researchers concluded the opposite seems to be true.

"I was glad to see that the stereotype that you have to be slender to have sex is just that, a stereotype," Harvey said.

Kaneshiro said the data showed that overweight women were more likely to report having sexual intercourse with a man, even when she controlled for age, race and type of residence. Ninety-two percent of overweight women reported having a history of sexual intercourse with a man, as opposed to 87 percent of women with a normal body mass index.

"These results were unexpected and we don't really know why this is the case," Kaneshiro said.

Harvey said the important part to take away from the study is that physicians and others who work in women's medical health should never make assumptions about sexual behavior based on outward appearances.

"Some medical practitioners may not do appropriate follow-up with women who are overweight, they might assume they aren't having sex unless they are told otherwise," Harvey said.

Other coauthors on the study include Jeffrey Jensen, Mark Nichols and Alison Edelman of Oregon Health & Science University and Nichole Carlson of the University of Colorado Denver.

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Learn what he really wants in the bedroom

Freud called female sexuality “the dark continent”; if that’s true, male sexuality could qualify as the dark planet. But when it comes to sex, guys are simple, right? Not true. The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, and as such, what you see and hear is typically the role, not the reality. It’s no wonder, in trying to please the actor, a woman loses sight of a guy’s true identity. Here are 10 “unmasking” facts you may want to know:

1. We Respond to Praise

It’s believed that men are so consumed by our libido that we have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But men are no different from women when it comes to compliments as catalysts for sexual confidence. This praise can be delivered before reaching the bedroom (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look), and after (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look naked). Along those lines, men worry about the size of their guts (and other measurable organs), their hair (or lack thereof) and other attributes. Try to be extra affirming about those sensitivities.

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2. We Fear Intimacy…

…but not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins—of words, thoughts, feelings—and our desire for human connection goes underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men—not because it’s smothering, but because we realize how desperate we are for it. What’s a woman to do? First, understand that your guy’s hasty retreat post-sex may be about his own shock at how much he craves a connection with you (and how much he’s denied it in life). Then, retreat a little yourself. This gives him time to see that his boyhood habits are, in fact, perfectly manly.

3. We Appreciate Sex for Sex’s Sake

Having said that about intimacy, sometimes a little “throw-me-down sex” is the right medicine. According to Joe Kort, PhD, a psychotherapist and sexologist, “Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally. For men, it’s not about dominating a woman, but ravishing her.” On occasion, try letting him ravish you.

4. We Are Not Just Our…

The penis gets all the press, but men have “many erogenous zones,” says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. “Men tend not to correct women because they’re afraid women will shut down and not touch them at all. But there are many places a woman should touch.” Like the chest, the inner thighs and face. Two other key areas: Gently gripping a man’s testicles can be a real turn-on, as it blends control with release. Also, stimulating the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, will heighten pleasure during oral sex.

5. We Encourage Fantasies

“Men want to share their fantasies but worry their wives will shame or judge them,” says Dr. Kort. Similarly, Dr. Schaefer reports that men wish women would reveal their imaginings. Want to open yourself to these possibilities? Try making a game of it. First, and most important, promise not to judge the other; then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. When you are next intimate, pull one out. If you’re both comfortable, give it a shot. If not, Dr. Kort recommends asking the author a key question: What about this fantasy do you like? Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different, more comfortable scenarios.

6. We Like It When You Talk

Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears. What kind of talk? Dirty, praising and instructive are great starts. As amusing as it may sound, a woman’s words can make a guy feel as potent and virile as a Roman gladiator, even if he’s a suburban banker.

7. We Need Your Honesty

Sex can solve the stresses of a relationship, but it’s often where the stresses show up. If we complain about a lack of sex (or your doing certain things only on our birthday), we may be overlooking serious issues that underpin such withholding. We need you to enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to sex, so it’s easy for us to dismiss bedroom problems as female disinterest rather than issues we have a part in. Avoiding these problems, however, only perpetuates your feeling unseen and our frustration.

8. We Enjoy the Dance

Men like a good quest; unfortunately, these days, there are so few. But romance earns that distinction. Allow us to court you; make us deserve your desire. Dr. Kort makes an additional point: “Emotional intimacy is about closeness, but sustaining sexual desire demands a certain amount of distance.” How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls “separate sexuality”: a sexual life that doesn’t include, but doesn’t betray, the other. “For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use toys or letting other men look at her; for her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy.” Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties.

9. We Can Explain Pornography

Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, says Dr. Kort, but it shouldn’t be overreacted to or pathologized. A few things to clear up: 1. Sex addicts represent only 4 percent of the population, so it’s unlikely your man is one. 2. Because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on. In other words, says Dr. Kort, “no woman can, nor should she, be everything to a man.” Still, the question remains: How does a woman not take pornography personally? First, determine if your mate is compulsive, or can only have sex, with pornography. If so, you may want to seek counseling. If not, Dr. Kort recommends taking the secrecy out of pornography by discussing it. Use the lens of “what about it turns him on versus what turns you off.” That way, a dialogue is created that allows for honesty, dignity and closeness.

10. We Always Need It, But Not for the Reason You Think

Men are accused of being sexually insatiable, but women should rethink this. “Men see sex as a celebration,” says Dr. Schaefer. “They wish women would take more of a ‘carpe diem’ approach to it. We move through life at the speed of sound, with multiplying challenges and pressures. It’s easy to allow demands on our time and energy to rob us of the joy, pleasure and opportunity that sex affords us. On the long list of priorities, it should not be on the bottom rung.” If that doesn’t make you want to “seize the day” (or something else), consider the health benefits: Orgasms release oxytocin, which has been called the “bonding hormone,” bringing couples closer together while it alleviates anxiety and stress, reduces blood pressure and promotes healing.

Source:cosmopolitan

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